Ahh, the sweet newborn phase! Photographing brand new babies from birth to the first few weeks of life, I thought I had an idea of just how sweet & precious new babies were. Not. the. case. Bringing Asher into this world was without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But once he was here (like everyone tells you), I completely "forgot" about those 27 hours of hard labor. But once we left the hospital & got settled in at home, things got crazy. Here I was, a brand new mom with a brand new baby. He would cry and cry and cry and I would go over the check list in my head.. "Clean diaper, check. Full belly, check. Burped, check. Swaddled, check." Yet somehow, he was still unhappy. Trying to figure out why your brand new baby is crying is rough. All you want to do is comfort them and make them as happy as possible. I thought I was failing and it was only day two.
Then slowly, each day started to get better. Asher would eat every 2-3 hours like clock work. He finally starting having regular bowel movements (sorry folks, but pooping is serious business!) We started being able to decode what his cries meant and based off his "schedule", things got easier to figure out what he needed.
It's now been 12 days since this sweet peanut entered our lives and I can honestly say, I will never be the same. It took me a few days to adjust. And honestly, those first few days were HARD. Your hormones are absolutely insane, you're sore in all the wrong places, you're trying to figure out nursing, if your baby is eating enough/getting enough, if everything is working in his little brand new body, running on zero rest, sheesh. I know there have been soooo many mamas out there who have told me how hard post-partum is, but real talk- NO ONE can prepare you for it. I did so much research on pregnancy, labor & birth. I did ZERO research on postpartum other than some stupid pads with witch hazel that you put in the freezer (another day, another blog). The truth is, down there will heal on it's own. What I SHOULD have researched was the emotional rollercoaster you are sent on 24-48 post birth. How not knowing what your baby needs is OK! That crying for absolutely no reason at all is perfectly normal. That missing your "old life" does not make you a bad mother. Yea, I should have researched that a bit more :)
So here I am, typing this blog post in my son's nursery as he naps. Constantly running over to his crib to make sure he's still breathing. Motherhood (while still so very new) is crazy. It's the most rewarding yet exhausting job on the planet. But when I look at my son, to know that my husband & I created him together, it's such an overwhelming love.
Thank you all so very much for all the calls, messages, and kind words on our brand new addition. I'm so incredibly happy to be a mama but I can't wait to slowly start finding a balance of work & mom life. We are so very lucky to have such wonderful family members & close friends who have stepped in to help with meals, keeping an eye on Ash so we can rest, and so much more. I'm so happy to say, it only gets better. <3