This might be the most scatter-brained, randomly written blog in the history of blogs. But guess what? That's my life these days! Today, we're keeping it real.
I haven't blogged in about 3 weeks. Sad face emoji. Truth is, I'm tired. I'm tired of putting my "best" out there all the time. These past 3 weeks I've been trying to wrack my brain about what my followers want. What would bring in the most traffic and have the most impact. This photo above? I hate it. I look exhausted. I look worn out. I look anxious. But guess what guys? I AM. These final weeks of pregnancy are really starting to get to me. Aside from knowing technically any minute you could go into labor, there is just so much more.
Yesterday was my first day as a "stay at home mom". I left my full time job and now, I wait. I wait on this baby to come into our lives & consume my every minute of my every day. Aside from the pressure of my new role in the home, I am trying to rest my body and mind in preparation for what's about to come. Trying to find a balance between everything is exhausting. And I know, just wait, this is only the beginning. The good news is everything has a transitional period. I'm certain there will be many more of these in our very near future.
I've spoken before about my birth plan and everything I am doing to make sure I am prepared. The biggest thing I am preparing for this birth is my mind. I will admit, it's already been the hardest thing in my life.
I read an article this morning that a few of my Facebooks friends shared and along with the article, many of them shared captions such as "YES! THIS!! Worth the read!" so of course, I had to read it. It was an article written by a mother who said she was tired of all the "rules" of parenthood. She was predominately speaking about the dangers of sunscreen these days and how she feels everything is killing us. She said how tired she is about feeling guilty for just trying to do what's right for our children. She mentioned how tired she was for being made to believe she doesn't care about her children anymore than the "crunchy, all organic, non-gmo" moms. While on one hand, I just want to hug her & say "I feel you mama", on the other hand, I want to explain. It's not that the moms out there want to shame you, or make you feel like you aren't doing what's best for your children, it's they want to help you. The truth is, yes, there are A LOT of scary things in our world today. From the food we eat, to the air we breathe, to the sunscreen on our skin. I get that you can't weed out everything bad, but you CAN educate yourselves. Just because I researched the hell out of epidurals and c sections and OB/GYN vs. midwife based care, doesn't "make" me any better of a mom than someone who didn't care how their child entered this world, as long as they were safe & healthy. It's not about who is better or loves their child more. It's about CHOICE. It's about knowing the facts, the risks, the benefits. I strongly feel that we as a whole (mainly the mothering community) are so quick (myself included!!) to jump to defense when we should be thankful. I am SO beyond thankful for the Facebook groups, the documentaries, the articles, and the advocates out there promoting a better way. While I may not agree with every thing and all methods out there, the beauty of it all is I get to choose what works for ME and MY family! If you bought sunscreen that was the #1 listed most dangerous on the newest health article, so what? You didn't know! Whether you choose to continue using that on your child or toss it, that's none of my business. I don't feel that you love your child any more or any less than I love mine. But while you are re-posting an article saying how tired you are of being shamed for using it, I think a message is being lost here. The message is to educate. What you choose to do or how you receive that information, is totally up to you. Now, if someone walks up to you at the Memorial Day pool party and says "You are a crap mother for using this", then ok, you have a legit argument. I personally don't post my personal eating habits, products I use, and so on, on social media. Mainly because I don't want to upset anyone. It's even been very difficult to share my birth plan out in the open. Certain people of my own family don't "get" why I am planning this birth the way I am. And guess what guys? Thats. OK! They don't have to understand! It's not their birth, it's not their baby, it's not their body. And just as it is with the sunscreen, do what YOU feel is best. No one can ever take away that right of you as a mother. We are ALL doing our very best <3
WHEWWW! Told ya. Random! We just went from anxiously waiting on this baby to arrive, to what sunscreen to wear, to birth plans! :) But I guess that's life. It's full of emotional roller coasters, transitional periods, and patience.
I better get outside and get my walk in before it gets to be 98 degrees and I blow up like Violet from Willy Wonka. Say a prayer that this peanut comes out soon, cuz this mama is ready. to. be. DONE. <3
all the love in the world. As always, B